Once
upon a time, many, many, many, ma'na cifra of many
years ago, at the beginning of the initiation of the
mond, there was the caos.
One day, God (God is the nome d'art of Dio), God,
who was disoccupated, had a folgorant idea and so
God created the Nutell. And God saw that the Nutell
was good, very good, very very good, good 'na cifra.
The mangiation of God was long, He manged one million
of barattols of Nutell sfrutting the fact that God
has not a Mamm that strills if you sbaff too much
Nutell...
And after this mangiation, God invented the Water
Closed Run, the cors in the cabinet, and some Nutell's
derivates like the red bubbons, the panz, the cellulit
and ceter, and ceter. After di which (dopodiche')
he invented Adamo ed Eva and all the paradise and
he diss to Adamo and Eva: "Now you have all the Paradise,
you can do everything, very tutt: you have the permission
to eat, to drink, to kiss, to scop; nothing lavor,
nothing affit, nothing concors of impiegats, nothing
cod alla post, nothing IRPEF, ILOR. Only very ozious
life: television, telenovels, football, moviols, process
of Monday, appell of Tuesday, cassazion of Wednesday,
and ceter, and ceter. You have gratis restaurants,
cinemas, theaters, all the Paradise is yours: air-conditioned,
autom riscaldament, moquette, parquett, tresset, bidet,
omelette, eccet, eccet....
"There's just one thing, remember, in tutt the Paradise
just one thing absolutely prohibited. Come, come to
me in the giardin:
this is "the Nocciol", the alber of the Nutell. Only
this alber of the Nutell is prohibited, because I
like the Nutell very much, very very much, much 'na
cifra and I want all the Nutell, tutt the Nutell for
me."
During the prim temps, Adamo and Eva were very happy.
Adamo said:"What a cool! ('Cool' is not in Italian
'freddo', no, 'What a cool' means 'Che cul') All the
Paradise is nostr!" And everyday, ognigiorn, they
discovered something new. A lot of scoperts, many
scoperts, many many scoperts, 'na cifra di scoperts.
One day the scopert of the hot water, one day the
scopert of the spaghettis, one day the cigarettes,
and ceter, and ceter.
But one day, a trist day, a very very trist day, trist
'na cifra, Adamo and Eva fecer the scopert of the
first colazion. And after the scopert of the cappuccin,
the scopert of the aranch succ, the scopert of the
cornetts, they understood that something was mancant.
"Eva!" said Adamo "Don't you think that qualcos is
mancant here, proprio here, 'ncopp this fett?" "Second
me" Eva risposed "'ncopp the fett you have to metter
burr and marmelade." "No, no Eva, you know that the
marmelade schif myself. I want ncopp this fett something
very particular, very very particular, particular
'na cifra. What do you think about the Nutell?" "No,
Adamo you are scording that the Signor said that's
vietat!" "Yes, I remember, but only a little assaggiation,
don't succed nothing!" And Adamo sces in the cortil
where the alber of the Nutell was and he pres a small
barattol and spalmed the brown cream on the fett and
assagged the Nutell.
Adamo and Eva don't ebber the time to exprimer the
godiment that the tuons and fulmins apparved in the
ciel and one voice said:
"Potevamo stupirv you with special effects, but I'm
God, not Fantagod! Adamo, Eva, come here! I'm very
incazz with you, very very incazz, incazz 'na cifra!
How did you permit to tocc the Nutell? Didn't you
remember that it was prohibited?"
"Cazz!" esclamed Adamo "It was prohibited! Oh, sorry,
God, I'm very very sorry, sorry 'na cifra, God, I
really really was completely scordat..."
Don't do that fint tont, Adamo, I'm God, I can see
everything, very tutt, and I know that you and the
woman have deliberatament assaggiated the Nutell.
So you have a big punhition, a very castig for your
peccat. But siccom I'm sconfinatly good, you can choose,
you have two scelts:
"Scelt number 1: nothing Nutell for ever and ever
in the secols of the secols, amen!" "Nooo!" Eva was
piagnucoling "It's a thing very tragic, very very
tragic, tragic 'na cifra!" "Aspett!" said God "Don't
be frettolous woman...
"Scelt number 2: you can take the Nutell, no problem,
let's prend, prend, but for you is the cacciation
out of the Paradise. You will have to lavorar with
the sudor of your front, you will zapp the terr, you'll
have mal of schien and, like this don't bastass, everytime
you will mang Nutell, the malediction of the brufols,
of the mal of panch, of the cacarel will be cadent
on you." "Ale'!" esclaimed Adamo "Thank you God, thank
you, we don't interess the cacciation dal Paradise,
the important is to have the Nutell! Goodbye! Ciao,
ciao!"
And so Adamo and Eva were cacciated and this original
peccat and this malediction cadded on lor and on lor
discendents, and on the discendents of the discendents.
Infact, tutt'ogg, you can veder in the pubblicity
all the ragazz that per aver one fett of pan and Nutell
they scalan the mountains they stay in a tend al fredd
and al gel and ceter, and ceter.
But the final pensier of tutti noi is "It's meglio
faticar and soffrir with the Nutell piuttost che the
Terrestr Paradise senz the Nutell."
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